4 simple ways to practice unconditional love in the everyday grind
Do you ever wonder how you are supposed to live out the radical love Jesus calls us to? I mean, we all know it is not an easy task to do day in and day out. Specially on days we are dealing with higher hormones [either ours or our children], or those days when things aren’t turning out quite as we had hoped, or on days when those around us are being a wee bit difficult. Any of these ring any bells?
The truth is, we are called to Agape… a deep, unconditional love that chooses the highest good for others. If we stop to thik about it, It's the standard set for us by Jesus himself. And it’s beautiful... but it’s also hard. We feel the friction of situations like prickly thorns: the impatience, the exhaustion, the feeling of being taken for granted. In those moments, choosing love is one of the hardest things we can do.
That's because Agape isn't a warm feeling; it is a foundational choice and action that seeks the well-being of others, no matter the cost. It's the kind of patient, enduring strength your home needs most. Your messy, busy life is the perfect training ground for it. You don’t need a grand mission trip or a special event; you just need to be intentional in the small, prickly moments.
Here are four simple, powerful ways to practice radical, unconditional Agape love in your ordinary routine:
1. The un-reciprocated chore
Agape love doesn't perform for an audience. It doesn't need applause, thanks, or even recognition. Sacrificial love is often done in secret, and that's exactly what makes it so purifying for the soul.
The practice: Do one intentional act of service this week that you know will go unnoticed and unthanked. Maybe it’s doing something sweet and extra for one of your kids, organizing that drawer that drives your partner crazy, or doing a chore that is technically "their job" just because they're overwhelmed.
The shift: When you do this in secret, your focus shifts entirely from your need for recognition to pure, selfless giving. You are practicing the highest form of love simply for the joy of giving peace and comfort to someone else.
2. Silence the scorecard
In the daily grind of co-parenting and household management, it’s incredibly easy to start keeping score: “I’ve done the dishes three times this week, and they haven’t done the laundry once.” “I was right in that argument, and they owe me an apology.” This scorecard mentality breeds resentment and makes your home a place of debt, not grace.
The practice: If you find yourself keeping track of who’s done more, who’s more tired, or who was "right," choose to silently forgive the debt. Agape is the opposite of a tally sheet. It releases the need to be "even" or "right."
The shift: By silencing the scorecard, you extend the same grace you've been given to the people you live with. By doing this seemingly small act, it reduces the tensions in your home instead of build on them. I understand that this one can be a hard one to practice freely. I get it, the inner voice, reminding you how right you are. But oh, how beautiful when we step into living the kind of way we are called to live. even when it is so hard.
3. The extra mile of empathy
This practice is essential for raising children and maintaining healthy partnerships. When a family member is acting out, or what we would call acting out, our first reaction is often frustration or defensiveness… as my dear friend always reminds me “we are our biggest lawyers”.
The practice: When a family member frustrates you, pause before responding and ask yourself: "What might be the unseen need behind this behavior?" Are they tired, scared, feeling unheard, or simply overwhelmed?
The shift: Agape love looks past the surface behavior (the lack of help, the mess, the eye roll) and chooses to respond to the unmet need (tiredness, fear, loneliness). This is a powerful act of unconditional love because it validates the person, even when their actions are difficult. And I dare say it is harder to validate the person than it is to validate their actions.
4. The morning blessing
In our rush to get out the door, or get our day started, we often carry the anxiety of the day with us. We forget that the energy we start our day with is the energy we bring into the home.
The practice: Before your kids walk out the door, or before you open your laptop, take five seconds to actively speak a blessing over them or your home, even if you have to whisper it. This can be as simple as, "I bless this home with peace," or "May you know you are loved and capable today."
The shift: This intentional moment is like setting a spiritual compass for the day. It shifts your focus from the relentless pressure of the to-do list to the truth that you are grounded in love, and you are actively working to bring that peace into your surroundings.
Your home is your most sacred space, and it’s the perfect place to practice this powerful, world-changing love. Don't wait for a grand occasion to show sacrificial love. This kind of love is built moment by moment in the quiet, unglamorous choices of your ordinary day.