3 Unexpected Things We May Be Missing as Mothers (and gentle ways to fix them)

Motherhood is full—of love, of responsibility, of laundry, of memories. We give, we tend, we lead, and we hold so many things together. But sometimes, in all that fullness, we unknowingly let go of parts of ourselves that we deeply need.

Here are three things many of us may be missing as moms—things that aren’t talked about often enough—and simple ways to gently bring them back.

1. Identity (The Forgotten Corners)

It’s so easy to get lost in the “mom” part of who we are. We pour so much of ourselves into our children’s lives—into their routines, their growth, their emotional needs—that we sometimes forget who we are beyond the role. We trade personal dreams for school drop-offs and hobbies for snack prep. And often, without realizing it, we tuck pieces of ourselves into forgotten corners, hoping to return to them someday when life feels a little less full.

But here’s the truth: you are more than a mom.

You are a child of God first of all—dearly loved, deeply known, and created with purpose. And you’re a whole person—with a story that started long before you first held a baby in your arms. You have passions, talents, and quirks that make you you. You have a voice, a vision, and a soul that longs for beauty and meaning. And tending to those parts isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Because when we reconnect with who we are beyond motherhood, we don’t lose our identity as moms—we strengthen it. Our children need to see us as whole people, not just caregivers. They need to witness what it looks like to pursue joy, to rest without guilt, to stay curious, to keep growing. So go ahead—write the poem, dust off the guitar, sign up for that class, wear the bold lipstick, take the walk just because it’s quiet. Reclaim your corners, one by one. You're not leaving motherhood behind—you're enriching it with the fullness of who you are.

try this:
→ Write down 3 things you loved before motherhood.
→ Schedule just 10 minutes a week to reconnect with even one of them.
→ Start a running list: things that light you up, dreams you have, songs that feel like you and visit them when you can. Even share them with your kids, they like seeing that part of you too!

2. Courage (The Quiet Kind)

We often picture courage as bold leaps, big moves, or standing on stages. But motherhood has taught me that courage can look much quieter—and still be just as strong.

Courage can be choosing to rest when the world tells us to hustle. It can be stepping away from a packed schedule to protect your peace of mind or peace in your home. Courage can be having a difficult conversation when it would be easier to keep quiet. It can be saying, “I’m tired, and that matters too.”

As Brené Brown says,

“It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”

To help you find courage to say yes to play and rest, try this:
→ Block off one hour this week just for you. No multitasking, no guilt. Find something to do that you enjoy and simply do that.
→ Say no to one thing that’s been draining your energy—even if just for now.

3. Playfulness (The Lost Spark)

Motherhood is filled with responsibility. From morning routines to endless laundry cycles, from managing emotions (ours and our children’s) to keeping everyone fed, clean, and mostly on time—it’s a role that never really clocks out. And somewhere between the grocery lists and the bedtime battles, joy can quietly slip through the cracks.

But joy isn’t meant to be buried under the weight of it all.

When’s the last time you laughed until your sides hurt? Danced wildly in the kitchen just because the right song came on? Made up a ridiculous bedtime story or told a joke so bad it made everyone groan and then laugh anyway? These little moments—so easy to overlook—are often the very things that lift us out of the heaviness and remind us that motherhood doesn’t have to be all grit and grind.

Play isn’t childish—it’s healing. It softens the hard edges of the day. It reconnects us to our children and to the version of ourselves that still remembers how to be free. Delight is still allowed here—in the messy homes, in the long days, in the midst of responsibility. In fact, it’s needed here.

So give yourself permission to be silly. Make a blanket fort. Eat dinner on the floor. Create your own family holiday for no reason at all. Laugh loudly. Make room for joy to stretch its legs in your home again. Because play doesn’t undo the seriousness of your love—it deepens it. It reminds everyone in the house, including you, that life is not just about surviving the day… it’s about living it too.

Try this:
→ Let yourself be silly—on purpose.
→ Make up a game, tell a goofy story, do something just for fun.
→ Or, schedule joy the way you’d schedule an appointment.
Let play be a part of your rhythm again.

You are doing sacred, beautiful, relentless work. But you don’t have to lose yourself in it.
Courage, identity, playfulness—these aren’t luxuries. They’re lifelines.
So this week, let’s reclaim even a small piece of what’s been missing.