6 Things I Do as a Mom of Four to Make Life a Little Easier

(Because chaos doesn’t have to be the default)

Some days motherhood feels like a sprint, a marathon, and a juggling act all in one. And while I’m all for embracing the beauty and messiness of raising four kiddos, I’m also a firm believer in finding rhythms that make things a little more manageable.

My kids are now between the ages of 9 and 15, and over the years, we’ve slowly built in some habits that help our home run smoother—without me being the default manager of everything. All though, some days I find myself slipping into that role and have to pull myself back once I recognize where I’m at. Anyway, these aren’t magic fixes, but they’ve genuinely brought more peace to my days.

Here are a few things we’ve put in place that have made a big difference:

1. They Make Their Own Breakfast and Lunch

Somewhere around age 7 or 8, we started slowly handing over breakfast duties—and let me tell you, this one’s been a game changer. My kids pretty much now handle both breakfast and lunch on their own. All though there are times when they sweet talk me into making them an egg in a nest or a lunch wrap. But for the most part, this is our habit. That doesn’t mean it’s gourmet, and sometimes I have to force them to get food (because the rule is also, you wash the dishes you use, they often don’t want to make a mess they have to clean up). But let me tell you, this has freed up so much of my work load.

There’s freedom in letting go of perfection and trusting your kids to step up in age-appropriate ways. (And bonus: it builds independence, too.)

2. Everyone Does Their Own Laundry

Yep. They wash it. They dry it. They fold it or just throw it in the drawer without folding. I do have to remind them once it comes out the dryer that there are clothes to be put away. So it is not completely self run yet.

I have community laundry loads—like towels or bedding—and when that’s done, everyone helps put them all away. It’s not a flawless system, but it keeps laundry from piling up on me.

It’s one of those quiet little sanity savers.

3. I Delegate... A Lot

I’ve learned that “doing it all” is not the badge I want to wear. I’m not afraid to delegate—and not just chores. I ask for help with dinner, errands, picking things up, or managing household tasks that don’t have to fall on me.

My kids are capable. And the more they practice responsibility, the more confident and competent they become.

4. They Pack Their Own Snacks and Drinks for Outings

If we’re heading out to the park, the lake, or a quick outing, everyone knows: grab your own water bottle and a snack. I’ll only pack things myself if we’re gone all day, like a field trip or long drive.

This removes the mental load of having to think for everyone—and it helps them plan ahead for what they need.

5. We Do Two Home “Resets” a Day

These are quick, family-wide tidying sessions. One in the late morning, one in the evening. All though sometimes we only get one of these but even with just one, it makes a big difference. We call them “resets” because that’s exactly what they do—reset the atmosphere of our home.

Everyone picks up what’s theirs, resets a room, puts shoes away, wipes counters, etc. It keeps our home from feeling like it’s falling apart by dinnertime. It’s not a deep clean—it’s a regroup. And it makes a big difference.

6. I Let Them Know When I Need Quiet

Sometimes in the car or at home, I’ll simply say, “Hey guys, I need a few quiet minutes.” And that’s it. No guilt. No over-explaining.

They’ve learned that it’s okay for mom to need a reset too. And I want them to know that it's healthy to recognize when you need space—and to ask for it kindly. And sometimes they will even ask for it and we all have to respect the ask. It’s not a sign of weakness to say this. It is a sign of knowing your emotional and mental state.

Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual, but we can build rhythms that support our mental and emotional well-being. These aren’t rigid rules—just simple systems that have brought more peace to our days.

So if you’re feeling stretched thin, here’s your gentle nudge: You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to carry every detail. And it’s more than okay to ask for help and teach your kids to carry their part of the load.

You’re doing a good job, mama. 💛

If you’re in a season of overwhelm, you might also love this post on easy and manageable habits