The Invisible Load of Motherhood

You can spot a diaper bag from across the room. You notice the heavy car seat balanced on one arm, the grocery bags on the other. You see the smudged windows, the half-drunk coffee, and maybe the laundry basket on her hip.

But some of the heaviest things we carry? You’ll never see them. The truth is, no one may see them.
And still, we carry them, every single day.

We get up out of our cozy beds with a scared child in the middle of the night with them.

We sit quietly across a table as we listen to our teens talk, and hold the heavy things.

We sit down at the end of a homeschool week to go over our achievements and feel the load.

We talk with our mom friends while our kids play at the park and the load is sitting right beside us.

This post is not to tell you of the loads you carry, I know you are fully aware of them. I don’t have to remind you… This is simply to say, you are not alone! I am there too momma. We all carry them in different ways and all thought we may be in different seasons, the invisible loads are still there.

So, here are four invisible loads many moms bear quietly… and a gentle reminder that you’re not alone.

1. The mental to-do list that never closes

We don’t just make dinner… we remember the dentist appointment, schedule the birthday gift, track the sock that’s been missing for a week, and plan three meals ahead. Our minds multitask constantly, like browsers with 47 tabs open. It’s a quiet hum in the background of our days: the remembering, the planning, the managing of everyone's needs. Even if I don’t see all your tabs open, I know they are there because I have them too. Our brains are a wonder at how they can keep everything going and still have the answer when our 7 year old asks us if we know where their favorite little toy is… or quickly run through our schedule when our pre-teen asks if they can have their friends over this Wednesday.

Like I said, our brains are a wonder. But don’t forget to also nurture it. Set up tools to help with the mental load. Maybe its a running list on your phone of “to-do’s” so you don’t have to keep them stored in your mind. Or a physical list [I am a paper and pen kind of gal]. Nurture your mind/brain with the kind of things you listen to and the food you eat. When life feels overwhelming with so many running tabs, perhaps take a second to breathe and meditate on scripture. Here is an amazing resource to help with mind clarity and resetting the mind for moms! Ill link it here

The point is, momma, Just because it is unseen, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to think through all of the little and big things all at once but also a heavy thing. Give yourself grace today. You are carrying a lot!

2. The guilt that shows up uninvited

It sneaks in during the quiet moments.
Was I too short with her?

Should I have said yes to that game?

Is he getting enough time with me?

Why did I have to snap again today?

No one sees the inner tug-of-war we play with ourselves. The way we want to do it all and be it all, even when we know that's not possible. We hold ourselves to impossible standards and forget that love is measured in the showing up, over and over …again and again. We lay in bed awake, long before everyone has gone to sleep and wonder if we are enough or if we are doing enough. We go through the conversation we had earlier with another mom and her words ring in our ears, echoing what she never meant to say but entirely what we heard… you don’t measure up.

But let me remind you of a truth you already know… those words are poison to our minds. Is there something we could do better? I would say yes. But better doesn’t always mean more. If the Nile River stopped flowing because it thought “I should be able to hold more water… I can be more!” Imagine the amount of people who wouldn’t be able to thrive in a place where they live today. The river doesn’t need to be “more” to fulfill its purpose. It simply needs to flow.

So again, I ask, could we do more? Yes.
But does that mean we have to do more? Absolutely not.
Sometimes the most life-giving thing you can do… is keep flowing as you are.

3. The heartache of watching them grow

Motherhood is a thousand tiny goodbyes.
Without even realizing it, we hear the last time they say “hold me.”
Or the first time they pack their own lunch without needing your help.
The gap-toothed smiles, the outgrown shoes, the quiet realization that they need us in new ways now. No one else sees the ache we feel while celebrating who they’re becoming. But we carry it, silently… sometimes with great joy and pride and other times with an ache deep inside.

Motherhood is a funny thing. Our whole mission is to raise these tiny humans into capable, confident people who will one day need us less and less. And the wild part is… when we’re doing our job well, when they’re growing, learning, and stepping into more independence, we’re also saying goodbye to seasons we’ll never get back. We cheer them on as they tie their own shoes, make their own breakfast, drive their own car… all while quietly mourning the days when their little hands reached for ours without thinking. It’s a strange, beautiful paradox… loving them enough to let them go, even as pieces of our heart ache for what used to be.

4. The fierce, unshakeable love

We carry it in our bodies, our thoughts, our prayers. A love that becomes the undercurrent of everything we do. It’s the kind of love that stays up late, shows up tired, and still finds the strength to show up again tomorrow. It apologizes first, even when we’re exhausted. It forgives quickly, hopes always, and chooses grace over and over again.

It doesn’t make headlines, and no one hands out trophies for it. But this love, quiet, steady, and unrelenting, is the miracle of motherhood. It seeps into the fabric of our homes, shaping the rhythm of our days and the tone of our conversations. It plants seeds in the hearts of our children that will grow long after they’ve left our arms.

The world may never notice, but eternity will. You may not get applause for the invisible things you carry.
You may never be handed an award for the mental load, the quiet guilt, the emotional labor, or the love that holds it all together.

But I see you.
And maybe today, you can see yourself a little more clearly too… not just for what you do, but for the way you carry it all with courage, with grace, and with love that truly matters.

You’re doing holy work, mama. Even when no one sees it.

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