A LETTER TO MY CHILDREN
What I Want You to Remember
About Our Home
Someday you'll have your own walls, your own kitchen smells, your own routines. And I hope you carry pieces of ours into all of it
O1 A Warm Drink Was Always a Good Idea
I hope you remember how excited we all would get when the kettle got put on. When someone started making hot Coco, or when the coffee maker beeped, letting us know it had finished brewing. There is something special about the buzz of everyone choosing the tea they want for afternoon tea and the things that often follow… the board games that get pulled out or the conversations that happen off the front porch as we sip our warm drinks.
Warm drinks were an invitation our home. To sit. To stay a little longer. To talk or not talk. To play a card game. To make art together. To sit and listen to the owl in the front tree. To watch a sibling practice their flips on the trampoline. An invitation to take a moment and just be together
"The kettle's on" was our way of saying, I see you. Come sit with me. It'll be okay..
02 God is in the Little Things
Often, faith showed up in small, everyday ways. We had our grand moments, sure, but more often than not, we saw God in the ordinary things. I hope you remember how small things were celebrated. How seeing God was a practice we did daily. We saw him in the friendships he brought to us every time we moved to a new place. Or in the design of the starfish relaxing in the tide pools off the Oregon Coast. We saw him in the jobs you found as a teen that fit our needs just perfectly. Or the colors of the sunset over the river on our way home from town.
I hope you grow up looking for God in the little things. He is there. And the more you look, the more you find.
03 Habits Stack on Each Other
We don’t get life perfect. We show up and pivot in the ways we need as seasons change. But I hope you remember that the small ways we show up every day add up to something. Making your bed. Saying thank you. Washing your dishes. Checking in on someone. Writing down thoughts. Starting a load of laundry. Sending a text or letter to a friend. None of it seems like a huge thing on it’s own but stacked together, over years of practice produces our character.
You don't build who you are in a single dramatic moment. You build it in the thousand ordinary ones you barely notice. So be careful with your ordinary moments.
Small things, done faithfully, become the foundation of everything.
04 The Door Was Always Open
You can tell us anything. We meant that. We still mean it.
I hope you remember how you didn’t have to carry something alone. We are always down the hall or a phone call away. Need to be picked up, we are there. Need a hug, done. Need to sit and cry and not say a word, I’ll put the kettle on. We’ve never promised to react perfectly but we chose you, over and over. We chose to make a safe space for you to feel heard and loved. A space that you can call from the construction site and say, “Hey mom, I forgot my lunch” and you know that somehow, you will have lunch by noon.
I hope you remember that you were are always welcome here, exactly as you are.
05 We Will Be Your Loudest Cheerleaders
What do I always tell you? “I am in your corner”
And I don’t just say this on “good” days. I remind you on the days we seem to be at odds. Or on the days we are having a bit of a hard time seeing eye to eye because I mean it even then. I hope you remember that I will always have your back. I will always cheer the loudest. I will always be excited about the things you are going after.
When the world feels like it's falling apart, you will have a place to call. When you need someone to help you move, to sit with you in a waiting room, to drive through the night to get to you… call us. We will come. You’ve heard us say this before. But I hope you remember how that was always true.
You will never be somewhere we wouldn't go to find you. We are always in your corner.
06 The House Wasn't Always on Trend
I hope you remember that home was more than having perfectly matching furniture or the latest kitchen gadgets. I hope you remember the feeling of home. I hope you remember how it smelled (except for the teenager boy room, that one we can all forget ;). I hope you remember the baked muffins and cookies. the smell of coffee in the mornings. I hope you remember our Saturday morning pancakes tradition with the record player going in the background. I hope you remember the dinners on the porch around our Kang table and mismatched pillows.
I hope you remember that our home isn't made by what's in the rooms, but who is in them. How we treat each other, and whether you feel that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. That has always the goal. Not trendy. Just home.
And when you have your own home someday
I hope it has tea in the cupboard, grace in the small moments, and a feeling of home, however different it is. I hope whoever walks into it feels it immediately… that rare, irreplaceable feeling of being somewhere safe and loved.
With all my love,
Mom
