The 3 mental blocks keeping your home cluttered (and how to break them)

The rush of Christmas is over and the promise of the new year is staring you in the face. So is that overflowing drawer, the packed bookshelf, and the mountain of toys stacked in the corners in the kids room. You genuinely want to declutter. You know a calmer home creates a calmer heart. But every time you try to start, you freeze up.

The truth is, clutter isn't just a physical problem, no, dear friends, it’s a mental and emotional problem.

Let me break that down… before we can manage the stuff, we have to manage the thoughts that keep us tied to them. I’ve identified the three most common mental blocks that keep you from having the peaceful, intentional home you desire, and the ways we can learn to break them down with simple shifts in perspective.

Let’s jump in shall we?

Block 1: The "maybe someday" trap

This block is the voice that whispers: "Don't get rid of that! You might need it one day.” Can you relate to that one? I just fell into that trap here recently: I had gotten a new pair of boots [from Marketplace, yay!] and instead of throwing out my old ones which had a huge hole in the back, I set them on the boot mat and thought “I may need these when I walk out to the chicken coup”. But truth be told, I’m not going to put on boots with a hole in them to walk out in the snow to the chicken coup! I’d rather wear my boots without the hole and keep my feet dry!

This is such and easy trap that forces us to keep old cables, half-finished craft supplies, and clothing that doesn't quite fit. It’s driven by a subtle fear of scarcity… a worry that what you have now isn't enough, or that you won't be able to easily replace something later.

When you look at an item and hear that "maybe someday" voice, challenge it [and this goes for things we are storing or don’t use every day]. Here are some simple ways to challenge it:

1. The "20/20 rule": Professional organizers often suggest that if an item can be replaced for less than $20 and in less than 20 minutes, you should let it go. The cost of storing it (in space, energy, and mental load) is often much higher than the cost of replacing it.

2. Make room for the present: Keeping things you might need is taking up space for things you do need and use right now. By releasing the "maybe," you create room for what really matters now and gives you back usable space you need today.

   Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about ridding your home of everything under $20! Each 20 adds up if you are having to replace everything all the time. We are simply talking about items that we don’t use daily or often enough, but we choose to store or find a place for them in our homes and garages. Use this block next time you find yourself thinking “maybe someday I will find a use for it” or “I may need it someday soon”.

Block 2: The "guilt & obligation" block

This block shows up when you try to declutter gifts, family heirlooms, or things a loved one gave you. It’s that tiny voice that says: "Aunt Susan will be hurt if I get rid of this," or the voice that says, "It was a gift, I have to keep it.!”

We often confuse the item with the love or memory it represents. sometimes we hang on a bit too hard to things because we feel obligated but let me say a hard thing to hear but I feel needs to be said out loud: holding onto the item out of guilt is not good for your home life.

Sometimes there are things we absolutely cannot get rid of, but the platter your great aunts best friends cousin gave you may not be one of those… You can honor the person without housing the object they have given you. And yes, it can be done. Here are some ways to do so:

• Practice gratitude and release: Hold the item and genuinely thank the person who gave it to you (either in your heart or aloud). Acknowledge that the love and intention behind the gift has already been received. Now, you are free to bless someone else with the item.

• The photo memory: If an item is deeply meaningful but takes up too much space, simply take a beautiful photo of it and save the picture. Then, confidently pass the item on. Your memory is stored safely in your heart, not in a dusty corner.

Block 3: the "identity" block

This is one of the trickiest blocks because it's tied to who we were, or who we hope to become.

• The past you: This is the person who keeps five years of college notes, old professional suits, all of you high school memorabilia, or clothes you wore before becoming a mother.

• The future you: Keeping supplies for a hobby you haven't started (yet!), clothes for a body size you may or may not reach, or books you will one day get around to read but know deep down you will not.

The voice here says: "This item is who I am," or "I need this to prove I was/will be [that person]."

You are a mom on a journey of intentional living right now. The most important identity you have is the one you are living in today. So here are a couple steps for this block:

• Acknowledge the season: It’s okay to acknowledge that your season of life has changed. Release the items that belonged to the past version of you (the law student, the traveler, the single professional) with gratitude for that time.

• Invest in the present: If you haven't touched a hobby or a project in six months (or a year!), give yourself permission to let the supplies go. If that future self is real, she will enthusiastically buy new, fresh supplies when she is ready to commit. For now, let your current self enjoy the extra space.

Breaking these mental blocks requires courage. We get so tied up in our things that the thought of letting things go can be daunting or hard. Let’s free ourselves up to make intentional choices that serve our family and our peace today.